Laid off

I fancy a rant at what rubbish life loves to throw at me so here it is. For the second time in just over a year I am about to go see someone to sign on the dole. Same firm laid me off again. I'm not sure if it's permanent like last time or just for a week, either way it's screwed everything up. Now this weekend I had planned to go out for the first time in over 6 months but because of this i can't. Also would have managed to start paying my mortgage properly now thats screwed.
What annoys me is that he has kept blokes going whose work isn't as good as mine and even one bloke who legally should be retired!! Now as I haven't passed my test, which is down to the lack of money I earnt, I'm screwed in looking for a job!
It has happened as I have started to get my life on track and things were going well, well I tell you that it won't defeat me. I'm sick of not being able to afford to do things, I'm sick of people who do not deserve it be treated better than me in work and life but I will over come, I will come out of this a better person and in a better position than the people who keep pulling me down. Here's my two fingers looking right at you so take a good look!

One week done

It's been a while since I last updated this and a fair bit has happened since last time. Well the main point of this blog was to keep a note of my driving and I haven't had a lesson since I failed back in December. This month it changes again because I hope to restart lessons in a couple of weeks. I have the extra money for it now I have quit smoking! One week done and I never thought that would happen!
Now as I have quit I'm looking at things to replace the habit and decided on fitness. Rode my bike yesterday for the first time. Brought it Jan! I went out on it, broke it and fixed it at cost. But it felt really good to get out there, if I can add that to playing football every week should be fitter soon.
Another change to my life is that my beautiful girlfriend has moved in with me and we plan to marry soon, well as soon as we can afford it. A good reason to get the driving sorted!
As of next season I won't be having a season ticket. First time since 1999. The cost became too much and I had lost interest even though we were winning games. I'm still gonna watch and listen to every match, thanks to the various outlets we are blessed with these days, who knows I might end up returning later in the year. T.L.M.S

A long gap

It's been too long since I last wrote anything. Time has been a cruel mistress as she allows me none! With work picking up, sadly not the wage side, and my studies I haven't had much time for anything. As I started this blog to chart my progress to learn to drive better say where I am with that. Still haven't drove since I failed my test and that is a big disappointment for me. It's not that I don't want to or that I'm scared it's more of a lack of money. Times in this household are still hard and I'm struggling in that sense to make ends meet but hope is on the horizon. Even though I'm still down I'm very happy as I'm in a new relationship and it's going great. Couldn't be happier in fact. If I'd known 14 years ago I'd be with this person now I'd have done something about it then!!
Hopefully Saturday night I will be celebrating the Albion's return to the greed league. I must say it's never boring following them. In fact every season since I got my season ticket in 1999 we have been involved in either play offs, promotion or relegation. plenty of ups and downs. If there is one thing I do miss from the barren years is the atmosphere in the ground. Now it's full of fans who only started turning up when we got promoted the first time and, in my stand at least, the noise levels have died down. It's a shame but thats the way it is. Still have games when it rocks but few and far between and I get the sense most fans are sick of being a yo yo club. Something to talk about on site every day though! T.L.M.S

Urges

It's been nearly 3 months since I last drove a car and the urge to do it again is gnawing away at me. I so badly want to get behind the wheel again, probably not in these conditions though! If I had the funds I'd be out there like a shot but fate has conspired against me lately. Never fear I tell myself it will happen soon, how soon is the question. So instead of driving I've filled my life with various activities to occupy myself. Last night I started playing football, first time in years and my legs are still feeling the effect of it! Aching all over but it was enjoyable. However any benefits the exercise had is now lost as I've just come back from a curry and a few beers!! My degree work is going well even if at times I feel I have no idea what I'm doing but it's good to stretch my mind. Someone recently has come into my life and while it is early days it's going well and thats putting a smile on my face. So while the driving is taking a back seat other things are going on, just want to get the complete set now! T.L.M.S

On the up

Things lately have improved in my life. I haven't begun driving lessons again, I really want to, but I have noticed an increasing tendancy to reach out for a brake pedal whenever I am in a car with someone! I managed to learn something there. I'm cracking on with my coursework and have managed to get well in front, so far in fact I've took on another course. Probably will regret it as I don't know a thing about maths but hey, best to try and fail then never try.
The Albion have won four on the trot and regained top spot. If that doesn't make me happy nothing will do. Work wise, I've found myself enjoying the jobs more, even if the money does not reflect the effort. However in my trade it is a benefit to drive, plus we are still in a recession regardless what the government may say. Work is hard to come by and if anything I am grateful to be working. I am a firm believer of you get what you give and believe I will one reap the rewards, however long it may take. T.L.M.S

Learning Curve

Finally got stuck into my coursework and I'm enjoying it. It said that it takes 14 to 16 hours to do each unit, something must be wrong cause I've done the first one in 4 hours! Maybe I haven't learnt it correctly, oh well find out in a couple of weeks at the tutorial. Having a little break to write this and to sort my head out from last night's drinking! A good session and a good night. It was good to get out and unwind and I really enjoyed it though I doubt I'll be doing it again very soon!

This week I intend to start getting fit for the first time in years, my bike is here, new football trainers as well so no excuse not to get out and get fit. It's like the new year is actually beginning tomorrow, a month late, for me and it's with a new found excitement that I approach it with. Getting the driving urge again so will hope to start that up again very soon. Trying not to set myself a target like last time but I have one in my head, just this time will keep it to myself. T.L.M.S

Calming air

After the emotional rants I've been having recently, an air of calmness have taken over me today. Perhaps it's the fact I've realised I can't control what other people do or maybe it's my recent dive into alcoholism! Over the past week I have found out the truth about some people and the true motives of others and now i'm aware of it all I can react accordingly. True I have noticed that my stress levels have risen somewhat and that basically at times I feel on the verge of full blown depression, not good signs at all. Do I go see the doctor and get put on the happy pills? I don't think that is the route I want to go down so another outlet is needed. A friend asked last night if I fancied playing football. I haven't kicked a ball in years but it could be exactly what I need. First off quit smoking, then improve fitness. They do say exercise is good for stress don't they?!

The mighty Baggies have progressed into the 5th round of the cup with a good win over Newcastle. I'm hoping we get Wolves at home! Plus Monday night we played very well and was unlucky not to have got a win. If I had the money I'd start going to the away games again, give me something to look forward to. Well for now it's time to cook my dinner and get stuck into my coursework, can't delay it any longer! T.L.M.S

Happiness

How much does happiness cost? I probably couldn't afford it anyway, but it would be nice to buy some! Seems I've been lacking some for a long time and it's about time I'm due some. Everytime in the past year I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel it closes back on me. Not that I'm depressed(although I think I'm one step away from the happy pills!) just down-heartened. Take work today, in fact the past week. One bloke has it in for me and as he's the gaffer's brother his word is gospel. Omits the fact he's lazy and work shy to him though. I've had to endure two rollockings for things I hadn't done. Regardless how much I stood up for myself it went in one ear and out the other. Tomorrow is going to be fun.

Relationships haven't been the strongest point in my life either but hey, you live and learn from each one, no matter how long or short they might be. At times I think I'm better off alone then other times miss the company and closeness you get. No wonder I never sleep with the crap floating around my head! Add in the worries about work and debt I'm total wreck at times, other days I just let it all slip by. The best release I get is going to the Albion. Not Friday night, utter rubbish. That was enough to ruin your month least your weekend! Rant over T.L.M.S

Same old, same old

My suspicions were right and to my disappointment it's finished before it really began. In my heart I already knew before it was said and that does make it easier. Still gutted though as I felt something I haven't for a long time. Can honestly say the past two weeks have been some of my happiest so will always remember that. Who's to say things might not start again.
So from here I move back on to work tomorrow. My aims for the year haven't changed and my determination has grown stronger to achieve them. Degree begins soon, will start driving lessons again very soon and the debt will be hit head on. I said this will be my year and it will be one way or the other. T.L.M.S

Happy new year

So the festivities are over and the year long work will begin again. To be honest this Christmas hasn't been as bad as I expected. My son has had a great time as his birthday is only a few days after Christmas so he's had a load of presents. Only downside is that he has to wait all year for two days close together! Myself it's been good. Met someone just before the holiday and it's going quite well I think. Well things have slowed down a bit the last few days which I did expect. Could be just me though as I tend to allow things dwell on my mind and go over so many situations I'm even more confused than when I started! Anyway I do hope it's just me as I like her a lot.
Last night was a messy night in a good way. Went out, got lashed and only spent £17! That can't be bad on any night let alone new years eve. Spent it with all my friends and really enjoyed myself, doesn't happen too often so it's good when it does.
Degree begins in 30 days and I'm looking forward to that as well. Gives me something to aim for and will wake my mind up from the slumber it's been in. Still got the driving to do and that is also at the top of the list. Got my debt to sort out as well and I will do that. 2010 will be my year I am certain of that as 2009 was one of the worst I have ever had and I will not allow that to happen again. T.L.M.S